A fast recap and impressions of Game of Thrones s02e03

New week,a fresh, new episode: it became the title "What is dead, may never die". As usual, a quick recap from me, adizz00.

Opening scene, beyond the Wall: Pedobear throws ruined-face Jon Snow into his house while yelling at lord commander to GTFO of his house. Mormont has a talk with Jon Snow, who tells him, what he saw: the old Pedobear takes his newborn sons into the forest, and some blue-eyed things are taking them away. Mormont doesn't seem to be surprised, Jon draws the conclusion, that HE KNOWS ABOUT THIS THING! :O
Sam gives Gilly a thimble, which is his only gift from his mother. How sweeet :)

Omg, wut teh Hell happened to ya face?!

In Winterfell, Hodor greets us - guess with what word? EXACTLY!- with a loud "Hodor!", and is going to wake up Bran. We see this scene within another badass wolfdream! Summer jumps on Bran's bed, giving the crippled little boy a quick heart-attack. After that, Bran has a little talk with Master Luwin about the wolfdreams. Master Luwin claims - wrong - that the dragons, giants and the clildren of forest died long ago.

Fight!

New Location! Storm's End! King "G*ylord" Renly is hosting a joust with his lovely wife, Margaery. It's the last fight, between Renly's precious Loras Tyrell and Brienne of Tarth, who is surprisingly stronger than the little b*tch Loras. Brienne shows us an awesome WWE-move while taking Loras to the ground, Loras gives up. Brienne wants as a reward to become a part of Renly's guards. Renly grants Brienne's wish who is really happy about it. Cat arrives at Storm's End too, to negotiate with Renly. He says she has nothing to fear, the war is only about to start.

Mrs. Loras-buster, Brienne of Tarth

Iron Islands, Pyke: we have a little fight between Theon and his father, Balon. Theon's reward is a b*tchslap, which is the second one in this season (the first one was the reward of king Turd). Yara (khm...Asha) tells Theon, that it's time about to decide: go back to his little buddy, or become the most badass traitor. Theon has to choose.

King's Landing, the Hand's room: Uncle Imp's and Shae's relationship is not as fruitful as it started. Tyrion wants to smuggle Shae into the kitchens, to be a kitchen wench.Shae becomes a bit angry, beacuse Tyrion calls him a "weakness". (sorry dwarf, no s*x tonight :D )

Meanwhile, Cersei, Myrcella, Tommen and Sansa are having lunch. I feel a bit sorry about poor Sansa, it would be better, if she could become invisible.

By the way, Sansa is getting a new maiden, who is ACTUALLY Shae! ( Tyrion wants to save the situation with the night-time s*x :D ) Sansa takes her anger out on Shae so harsh, she almost cries.

Back to the Imp, with the most admirable tactic I've ever seen: He tells 3 different plans to 3 different people, who are: Littlefinger, Varys and grand master Pycelle. Pycelle gets the plan "Myrcelle to Dorne", Varys gets the plan "Myrcella to the Greyjoys", and Littlefinger the plan " Myrcella to the Eyrie". That's an awesome tactic!

I want to play a game! :D

And what now comes, is the most disgusting thing in Westeros: Renly and Loras are MAKING OUT WITH EACH OTHER!!! :@  Miss Loras becomes peevish, and gets away.
Le wild Margaery appears, who uses strip, but it's not very effective at Renly. Margaery knows about Renly's aside f*cks btw, Renly seems to be a bit surprised.

King's Landing, Cersei greets Tyrion with the sentence "How could you be such an a**hole, sending Myrcella to Dorne?! " Experiment ended succesfully, we have our little traitor. Let's visit him.


Theon made his decision, he wants the second option. He burns the letter he wanted to send to his buddy.
He reborns as supertraitorman, with the blessing of Damphair.


Littlefinger gets a little angry at Tyrion, as the dwarf tells him, that he only joked with him. The midget has a new plan, he wants to send Petyr to Renly's camp, to get together with Cat Stark.


It's visit time! The old geezer is having a sexy time with a wh*re ( holy sh*t). Old man craps himself after seeing Tyrion with Shagga and Bronn. He is going to be imprisoned in a black cell. (Btw, he got a free shave :D) Varys gives Tyrion a riddle, who decides , that he hates riddles. 

Yoren got gank'd

The convoy is resting at a castle, but Arry can't sleep. She is having a serious talk with Yoren, but they got interrupted by some Lannister guards. Yoren got gank'd by a lot of guards, and poor Lommy is saying goodbye to the series too. The guards are looking for Gendry, but Arry distracts them. (she says, that Lommy is Gendry). They're being taken to Harrenhall.

Poor Lommy is going to die

Thank's for reading, next week comes a new recap.

A member of House Tully
(adizz00)